January 3, 2002 Keeping Resolutions

Ever made a New Year's Resolution? Ever made one that you actually accomplished?

Welcome to the club. It takes more than good intentions to change behavior. It takes more than constantly fretting about how you should exercise more, quit smoking, lose weight, listen better or whatever. Intellectually rationalizing the need for change is just not enough. It takes a high degree of commitment - deeply felt, emotional commitment. It takes having your heart and body committed to what your mind already knows.

For those of you attempting to fulfill some new resolutions, we offer a few reminders intended to help you stay more emotionally committed, thus raising the chance of success. We hope you find them helpful.

• Have a private conversation with yourself about two things -
  1) why you are making the resolution, and
  2) the real sacrifices you will have to endure.
  If the change you are seeking is really important to you, you will have more leverage to stick with it longer. However, you must remain convinced that the payoff will be greater than the pain of the effort (and there is always pain!)
   
• Find others who are committed to help you make the change. Having a human support system makes it easier than going alone. Hound them to keep on you, and don't get defensive when they give you constructive feedback.
   
  
• Share your resolution with many people, making it visible and well known. This will make it harder to back out of, and also make you feel more accountable for results.
   
  
• Be aware of the current routines that might be working against you. If your morning ritual is coffee, a newspaper and a cigarette, you may have to disrupt it, in order to reduce the desire to smoke. If you try to carry on meaningful conversations with your associates while "multi-tasking" on your computer, you may have to leave your office in order to improve your listening.
   
  
• Set realistic goals around your resolution. Give yourself a chance to succeed. Reducing your cholesterol does not mean eliminating everything you like all at once. But, it might mean frozen yogurt, instead of chocolate, chocolate chip premium ice cream for a bed time snack.
   
  
• Recognize your progress when you reach measurable milestones. Change is hard work, and when you have improved, take a moment to celebrate your accomplishments. (But remember about rituals and routines. Lighting up a cigar to celebrate 3 weeks of non-smoking might not be the best way to acknowledge your progress!)
   

One last thought: keep reminding yourself of how really important the change you are seeking is to you. Keep the benefits in front of you all the time. And keep other people involved, to help you in the tough times and applaud you after those great steps forward.