April 1, 2004 Experiences with Impact

When people in America think about the month of March, a couple of things often come to mind.  One does not even have to be a college basketball fan to get caught up in the excitement of "March Madness," and the quest of the 64 teams on their way to the "Final Four." Another notable day occurs on the 17th , when rivers and beer suddenly become green, as people celebrate the luck of the Irish on St. Patrick's Day. And of course, somewhere around the 21st of the month, the season of winter officially ends with the arrival of spring. Summer vacation is suddenly not quite so far away.

Now let me ask you this. Without checking your calendar, can you remember what you did or what the weather was like this past March 11th? It fell on a Thursday, if that makes any difference. For many people, it was just another day, like most others.

Unless you lived in Spain.  For that was the day a few hundred people in Madrid lost their lives, as a result of the attack of terrorists. The cover of the following week's Newsweek had the headline, " Europe 's 9/11."  Many others in the media referred to that terrible tragedy in the same light as America's dreadful September day in 2001.

My guess is you vividly remember where you were, what you were doing, and for that matter, the weather (at least in New York ) on September 11, 2001. I would also imagine that many Spaniards and other Europeans now have the same degree of detail carved into their memories about March 11, 2004. For them the world changed that day, just as it did for many Americans a couple of years ago.

You have no doubt heard the timeless expression that "people learn from experience." Actually people learn a great deal more from reflecting on experience , not just having one. And the experiences they reflect on and learn from most are those that have deep impact on them personally and emotionally.

March 11th was an experience of great impact for many of the people of Spain , much as September 11th was for most Americans. Those in Spain will reflect on it and feel it for a very long time. And predictably, it will affect them much more than it does most other people around the world.

There is an interesting lesson here as it applies to leadership. Leadership is often about getting other people to change the beliefs they hold about things. Leaders strive to get people to believe that ambitious goals are important and worth the struggle. They labor over how to get people to believe that uncomfortable changes can indeed be for the better. They grapple with getting their people to deeply believe that they can accomplish things that they have never done, or even attempted before.

About the only way to influence or change deeply held beliefs is to provide people with an "experience with impact"; one that forces them to confront or question the beliefs they currently have.

An experience with impact touches you personally and emotionally. It also contains undeniable messages or lessons, which you cannot casually explain away. It can be one of great joy, surprise, pain, gratitude or a host of other things. If an experience doesn't conjure up much of an emotional response, you won't spend much, if any, time reflecting on it, or examining some of your deeply held beliefs because of it.

Over the years in our leadership development work, we have learned some very important lessons. One of those is that it is virtually impossible for people to change their behaviors if their underlying beliefs about why they should (or if they can) don't change. Believe it or not, entertaining facilitators, snazzy materials, and slick PowerPoint presentations very seldom reach people at the beliefs level. To hit the beliefs, there must be opportunities for people to have experiences with impact.

There are a variety of experiences we have relied on to get aspiring leaders to think about and reshape their beliefs about the value of leadership and their ability to lead. Providing them candid, 360° feedback and helping them draw insightful conclusions from it is one of those ways. Many have discovered their beliefs about their own effectiveness were not very accurate. That wake up call provided the need and the fuel for them to change. They are now better leaders.

Another experience with impact we have offered to some is the opportunity to tackle a high ropes, challenge course. Many approach this with apprehension (or even dread), based on beliefs that the activity requires enormous strength and agility. They view it like an army "Boot Camp" or an Olympic competition, certainly not something necessary for becoming a better leader. And we know that the voices in many of their heads are shouting, "you can't do that, you are too old or too out of shape," or "this is really stupid." But by the time they are finished, a remarkable transformation has taken place. They have proven to themselves that their original beliefs were somewhat misguided. They discovered they were not too old, too short, too weak or whatever. They accomplished things they did not believe were possible for themselves or others, and they felt exhilarated because of it. That experience with impact has enabled them to approach the world going forward from a very different perspective.

We have also found it critical to allow people time to reflect about their experiences. It is those moments of introspective thinking when their development kernels really begin to pop. That is the time when they truly can confront themselves, and question many of their own beliefs about their work, their people or themselves, that might be holding them back. We have heard numbers of people make comments like the following:

• I was wrong about my ability to walk across a beam 25 feet in the air. What other things might I be able to do that I have never believed was even worth attempting?

• I know Carl is deathly afraid of heights, yet he still climbed up the ladder. I now wonder what else is he capable of that I would never have thought possible.

• I got zinged by my people on my feedback about not listening to their opinions when they differ from my own. I am really bothered by this, as I deeply value what they think. I have got to do something about this immediately.

These are all examples of people examining and rethinking very important beliefs. This will help them become even better leaders in the future.

Here is an important question for you to think about. Do you think these people would have questioned their core beliefs as they did, had they not had the experiences? Would occasionally hearing that they don't listen to others very much or that they constantly pigeon-hole the abilities of their associates cause them to believe the messages enough to change? Hard to say. But like you, we have come across people who have been frequently given this kind of feedback and nothing happens. It must have been either not clear enough or important enough to prompt them to do much with it. But in the examples just cited, the experiences of receiving eye-opening 360° feedback from associates, or taking part in a pulse-raising challenge course, allowed the key messages to get through, even when constant communications in the past had not.

A helpful reminder to take with you is this: It is nearly impossible to expect people to change what they do or how they do it if they are unable or unwilling to change what they believe. And very few people today, unless they have a compelling reason, ever take the precious time needed to contemplate whether some of their beliefs are, in fact, as valid and serving as they once were. Experiences with personal, emotional and undeniable impact provide that compelling reason. Relying solely on inspiring words or messages, even if you are a very gifted communicator, is too often just not enough to move people to see, think and act differently.

Reflection Questions:

What are some changes that you need of your people-individually or collectively?

What beliefs might they hold that are keeping them from committing to the changes? (How might you find out, if you don't know?)

What experiences will you provide that will touch them personally and emotionally, so they will more deeply embrace the need to change?