“We don’t see the world the way it is, we see the world the way we are.” Go back and read that again – out loud. You do not want to ever lose sight of this profound truth.
Do you occasionally stop and reflect on exactly how you are viewing the world, especially in situations where there is conflict? I have worked with many people who offer vastly different viewpoints from my own, even at times when we are assessing someone’s performance as a leader. They make their case, and I make mine… and we do not always see eye to eye. In the specific area of leadership, one would think that there should be some kind of objective checklist, where after receiving enough marks, the leader would be considered effective.
In fact, there are a number of lists that do identify effective leader attributes and behaviors. That is not the issue. The problem is that each of us always factors in our own subjective filters about the leader, in order to determine which boxes we will check off. We see the world the way we are. BTW, those same filters are active on every other topic or list on which we may be deliberating, not just on leadership.
Along the way, those filters get reinforcement from that thing called ego. And before too long, our way of viewing the world becomes the “right” way to view the world. When that happens, it automatically makes any opposing view wrong or inferior – doesn’t it?
It of course should not, but apparently it must. We have all been witness to conflicts where absolutely no time was spent by anyone on trying to understand the other person’s point of view or where they might be coming from. That situation seems to imply an, “I am right, and you are wrong” mentality. And when that “right/wrong” thinking is too frequent or based on highly emotional issues, it can quickly erode, even destroy relationships … at work and at home.
So, ponder this – can you be a person who breaks that cycle of erosion. In a time of conflict, could you first ask yourself, “might there be another way to view this situation that is equally as valid as my own?” By pausing to consider this possibility, you may find yourself moving from a once involuntary reflex to defend your position, into a more proactive frame of mind for learning something new and valuable. Then maybe, just maybe, you will take the time to inquire more about that “other” viewpoint.
It takes work to learn about and understand differences of perspective, so you may decide it is not worth the effort, especially on issues where you absolutely know you are “right.” But, oh how different our entire world would be if this little reflection moment was acted upon with genuine sincerity more frequently. I encourage you to give it a try sometime. You never know what you might discover!
Learn On!
Share Your Thoughts