Being Respectful

Greetings Leaders,

For as long as I can remember, the term that I and people around me have always used to describe that extra boost of warmth and color in the late fall was Indian Summer. For me, an Indian Summer was always associated with something good… beautiful colors, wonderful weather, and an extended respite from the upcoming long, cold days of winter. That very expression was recently dancing through my mind as I appreciated the lovely and unusually warm and dry fall we enjoyed in Ohio this year.

And then it dawned on me. I’ll bet this expression either already is or soon will be considered inappropriate.

Fear not… my reminder is not to debate the “good or bad” of the term. Rather, it is to remind us to reflect on all that goes into being genuinely respectful of others.

I have never researched where the expression Indian Summer came from and frankly never cared. I always used it with good intentions, not to label or stereotype. An Indian Summer for me was about beauty and gratitude. It was never about anything else, especially something controversial, or God forbid, hurtful or demeaning. And I can honestly say I never once associated it in any way with my Native American ancestors (my father’s side). It was simply a term I grew up with to describe a non-guaranteed but always much appreciated time of year.

However, in our culture today, I understand how this expression (and others like it) might stir up unintended negative emotions. It may in certain circumstances even be viewed as disrespectful. Although it saddens me, I do realize that in my constant attempts to honor all others with dignity and respect, I’ll likely have to let go of an expression that feels like a longtime friend. And unfortunately, a rubber-stamped, generic replacement such as “second summer” or “autumn summer,” will simply not induce the same level of warmth for me.

Now some might say I am growing in my self-awareness of the complicated social environment in which we now live. Others will say I am caving in to the ridiculous extremes that political correctness has taken us. Regardless, dignity and respect are always in the eyes of the beholder. Those beholders, not you or I, determine whether they feel respected and dignified or not. That is the real lesson to remember.

So leaders, here are a couple of closing thoughts. Always be mindful of your words and the impact they can have on others. And at the same time, also remember to take a breath before immediately passing judgment on or criticizing another person for what might sound like insensitive word choices to you, when there is genuinely no harm intended. A little respectful feedback if needed, along with a hearty cupful of grace, will likely leave you both in a much better place.