I have been struggling a bit while reflecting on a topic of great importance. The topic is character. I am discovering it is not an easy thing to get my hands around.
Here are a couple of examples of my unrest. Growing up, I was taught about the moral character, courage, and forthrightness of our Founding Fathers. Today, you can read about almost any one of them and come away thinking the person was a real scoundrel. Mother Teresa was canonized by the Catholic Church in 2016, recognizing her as a saint. My gut tells me that we associate pretty good character with people we would call a saint. Yet, there are those who loudly argue that she added to and prolonged the suffering of people in her care. It appears that even the character of a saint can be in question.
So, how is it decided if someone else has character? One answer is we simply determine how many of the defining attributes of character the person displays. But here is the rub. When you and i look at the same person, we may have vastly different views about the character of that individual. Who is right?
Well, we both are. Character, like feeling respected, is in the eye of the beholder. If someone is known for treating others with immense dignity but treats you like trash, it will be hard for you to ever agree that the other person is one of good character. And from your experiences with that person, you would be right.
I personally believe there is a lot of objective agreement on what good character looks like, including that “moral behavior” aspect. However, we all use a lot of subjective judgment in determining whether we see it or not.
Since you, too, will be subjectively judged, here are a couple of thoughts to help reduce doubts others may have about you. Be clear on your values, make them known, and do your best to consistently live them every day. Make living values and strengthening character an ongoing topic of conversation in your work groups … and your families. It is that important. And occasionally ask others for feedback on how they might see you falling short in your efforts to be a leader of character. As an imperfect human being, it will happen and you need to respond quickly when it does.
Keep at it. We would all benefit from having more character-based leaders around these days.
Share Your Thoughts