Failing with Grace

Alison Gibson might be one of those names you have heard of, but just can’t place. She is the US Olympic diver, whose toes caught the edge of the diving board on one of her dives, landing her in the water with a giant thud. She scored a perfect 0.0 on the dive. Despite her injured feet, she defied everyone by continuing to compete, and finishing dead last out of 28 divers. By any definition a colossal failure, right?

At 25 years old, we can only wonder how much of her entire life she has spent on a springboard honing her craft. Then at the very moment she has trained for all her life, she blows it… big time. It was likely deemed impossible to score absolutely nothing on a dive, but she did. Can you imagine the numbing shock of that moment? Huge disappointment is a vastly inadequate explanation for what it must have truly felt like for her.

If her comments after this visible fiasco represent who she really is, then we should pause for a moment before passing too much judgment. In a subsequent Instagram post, she wrote: Our worth is not defined by one painful moment. I am who I am because of the journey it took to get here. And I will not let the shame and pain of this moment define me and my worth.

Leaders, you might want to reflect on her words – in thinking about how you process anything from a small setback to a massive failure.

And for those of you with kids still in school (including college), pay even closer attention. We all know that bullying and tearing down others (in person and online) seems to be an international sport these days. This is one of the reasons there is so much concern about the current state of mental wellness, especially in kids. When bombarded with highly charged messages about how lousy they are, kids need frequent re-assurances and validation of how worthy they are.

And guess what… the same is true for those middle-aged and older “kids” who find themselves in workplaces surrounded by lousy and belittling bosses. The basic nature of work is to solve problems, not just read emails or attend meetings. And with especially pesky problems having no easy solutions, there will be grand failures… guaranteed. So for people to get back up afterwards and metaphorically “continue to compete,” as Alison did, they must have faith, confidence, and belief in their own worthiness. And those attributes are developed and strengthened from the visible support, praise, and validation of others – others like you.

Ironic isn’t it about Alison. Even had she won gold, she would immediately have been forgotten by all but a close few. But now, millions will remember her for some time to come (although maybe not by name) as the person whose courageous example inspired them to persevere through real darkness. Who knew all that pool time and dedication to diving would turn out to be not so much about diving after all.

If you blunder, may you do so with grace and be an inspiration for others when they stumble as well.

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